Engagement: betrothal.
Perfect: entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.
So a perfect engagement is a betrothal that is entirely without flaws, defects or shortcomings. In other words for all us mortal men in the world it doesn’t exist. Or does it?
Is it fair to say that no matter how much planning, organising, investment, preparation, practice (for some people) you can put into the perfect moment, you are guaranteed that something will go wrong? Or is it actually possible to have that one perfect moment in time when everything falls into place. I have recently discovered from experience the answer to this question is a resounding yes.
I know what you are thinking, “do I really have to read the big soppy description of John and Caroline’s engagement and how perfect it was”. Let me assure you now that this is a cold hard factual examination of the engagement process with pros, cons, pitfalls and highlights. The advice contained below is something that I wish I had known beforehand. I now pass it on to those who may benefit from my experience.
We’ve all heard the horror stories of engagements that have gone horribly wrong. My personal favourite is the urban legend of the guy going through airport security with his girlfriend on the way to a romantic getaway. There he was waiting for his bag when a big security guard comes up to him and says “Sir is this your bag”. Upon opening his bag the security guard points to a box rolled up in a sock at the bottom of the bag. “Sir can you please open this”. To which the now panicking boyfriend replies “I’d rather not”. WRONG ANSWER bud. While the security guard is calling for backup while putting on a rubber glove, the girlfriend turns and says “What are you doing, open it up or we’ll miss the flight”. What could the poor guy do except get down on one knee, take the box out of the sock, open it and propose there and then at the airport security desk. How can this be a perfect moment I hear you ask. Well what you and I don’t know is the version of this story that was told by the now ecstatic fiance to all her family and friends on her return home.
Let me give you a more detailed example. My perfect engagement was on top of the hill at Sacre-Coeur Church, overlooking Paris at night
time. You can see why from the picture below.Some of the minor details:
• It was our 3 year anniversary
• The same weekend of Ireland vs Scotland in the 6 nations which was our first date
• Flights and accommodation was booked and paid for.
• Caroline had no idea where we were going and with a little help from my friends we had her convinced we were going to Cork (worst case) or Edinburgh for the rugby (best case).
The "plan" was to go to Sacre-Coeur as soon as we arrived on the Friday night. The reasons for this was that on Saturday we were to go and meet friends in the morning and watch the rugby during the day. When the day itself arrived (Friday 13th by the way) we arrived at the airport to find that my paper ticket had to be scanned 5 times as for some reason it wouldn’t read properly. Our flight got delayed over 2 hours which meant that by the time we landed it was too late to go anywhere. Bearing in mind that I was already a bag of nerves before we left Ireland; I was now faced with the horrifying prospect of having to watch Ireland vs Scotland with my usual 6 Nations nervous disposition as well as the engagement jitters. Which would be followed by a proposal only God knows where, which would be performed while well oiled from the alcohol consumed to cover up the previously mentioned nervousness. Friday 13th was living up to its name.
We arrived into the hotel a little after 23:30 to find that we had been upgraded to a “room with a view” and what a view it was. Overlooking the Tuileries gardens with the Louvre to the left and the Eiffel Tower to the right. I was like a drunken fool on the way home on a Saturday night. I had stumbled and fallen flat on the ground, but somehow managed not to drop my garlic chips and cheese. I had my Sacre-Coeur back.
We went for a walk around the corner to find the Irish bar for the game the next day. After a pint of Dutch courage we went back to the hotel where I went out on the balcony and sat down. I called Caroline out to look at the view. She arrived out, tooth brush in hand and sat on my lap. There on the balcony overlooking Paris at night I proposed. To which Caroline responded.....yep you guessed it “Seriously”. Upon repeating the question, another (more excited and higher pitched) “Seriously” was heard. On confirming for the third time that I was not in fact joking, the ring was taken from my hand and put on her finger. At this point I asked “Does this mean Yes?”, to which I was handed back the ring and ordered down on one knee. Joyously at the 4th time of asking I got confirmation that I could now relax and watch the rugby match on Saturday without the extra nervousness I was anticipating.
The point of this article is as follows: I have now heard the above story hundreds of times as Caroline has described it to friends and family. While balcony and Paris are a common theme, the story in no way resembles what happened from what I describe above. What I have heard described is in fact the perfect engagement with fireworks and doves been released at the moment she said yes. No mention of course of the toothbrush or the first 3 attempts.
So gentlemen everywhere remember this one indisputable fact. No matter how you do it, no matter how much you plan, no matter where you go, something WILL go wrong. But don’t worry or fret because when it described in years to come it will be the perfect engagement. Seriously....
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